I made this mistake — too often... Here now are FOUR proven conversation ideas you'll use immediately.
I know from personal experience they'll make you more fluent in both your spoken and written communications.
Here's what happened: A little while ago I was listening to one of my own audio programs —
I do so from time to time just to remind myself of my own ideas. My publishers for the program, Nightingale-Conant, had suggested to me — because the program had been so popular with their customers — it was now time I revisit it, update the ideas where necessary, and rerecord the whole program.
So, to do so, I listened to all 6 CDs to make notes of any changes I wanted to make.
I was shocked and surprised and slightly annoyed with myself. Why? Simply because I used the word
situation 27 times just on the first CD. Yes — 27 times!! And in the first writing and recording of the program I simply hadn't noticed this — habit.
And it's habits, particularly in our spoken and written communications, I want to give you some "insider thoughts" about now.
So as you can imagine... When I rerecorded the program under its new title:
The Best-Kept Secrets of the World's Great Communicators— I was particularly careful to use a variety of words to describe a — situation.
Now, I'm certain, already — as this idea is now on your radar — you'll be aware, more than ever before, of the habit words and phrases you've been using over time.
Some of those... Habit words will be great — and naturally you'll keep using them. Some of them will be robbing your speech and writing of power — by interrupting the eloquence of what you say and write as people begin to notice the repetition or inappropriateness of the words you use.
There are three particular areas I like to discuss where these habits perhaps more than any other areas come into play.
Important Note: In a moment I'll share with you the
"one word" to remove from your conversation and writing which will make such a powerful difference to your persuasiveness.
Those areas are... The
opening we use for most of the conversation we have each day, the
filler words we use during the body of our communications, and the
ending or goodbyes we use — particularly the spoken goodbyes.
So let's start by looking at the opening: No doubt you, like me and most other people, have similar conversations throughout your normal working days. If we're involved in business and talk regularly to either suppliers or customers, many of those exchanges will have similar content — and it's easy to get into the habit of using the same words, sentences, or even paragraphs of speech. And especially the opening we use.
So my suggestion would be to listen carefully to what you say as you open your regular discussions, conversations, or telephone calls — to notice if there's a habit either helping or hindering the communication process.
And if there is — a habit — and it's hindering rather than helping, change the words, change the expression!
One of the easiest ways to recognize these habit patterns — whether in an opening, in an ending, or in the body of what you say — is to record the conversation.
Now I'm not suggesting you record what the other person says — as this may take permission, which may be something you don't want to request. I am suggesting you record your side of the dialogue — by simply recording it into your computer or onto a small dictating machine.
I'm certain... You'll be as surprised as I was when you do this to hear the exact words you use - and just how repetitive we can be.
OK - now into the body of the exchange with another person. Be aware of the filler words you use which really do rob your speech of power. Those are such words as:
Um, er, like, you know, sort of, kind of, absolutely, and any other habit words and phrases which have crept, over time, into your language patterns.
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